Do you sometimes feel you are sharing different parts of yourself in different situations – but not quite sharing all of yourself?  It can be uncomfortable or even scary to share your true self in all settings and situations but ultimately it can be empowering and because you are expanding authentically, it can be relaxing. When you no longer feel you need to worry about the perceptions of others, you can just be yourself and feel satisfied and fulfilled.

Here are some things to try to help you gain the confidence to show your authentic self:

1. Meditate. Meditation has been shown to quiet the part of you that judges and labels everything around you. Through meditation, you can gain insights into the real you.

2. Discover what energizes you. Take motivators self-assessment and discover your core needs and what intrinsically motivates you.

3. Embrace truthfulness. When speaking or acting truthfully, you reveal your authentic self.

4. Share your uniqueness. The true you is unique. Do you keep the unique parts to yourself or are you willing to share them with the world? Explore your interests – or combinations of interests that make you unique. Where can you share those interests? Are there charities that would appreciate your contribution? Are there in-person or online communities you could join to be with others who share your interests or perspectives?

5. Explore situations where you can act more authentically. Do you feel more inauthentic when meeting people for the first time (first dates, new social experiences, first day at work), or when with people you’ve known for years (family, childhood friends)? Think about those times, and reflect on why you feel inauthentic. Do you fall into stereotypes, old roles? What insights do you gain?

6. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Engaging in pursuits that you are passionate about feeds your sense of authenticity and can increase joy in your life.

7. Try something new. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try, but have hesitated because you are afraid to break the mold you’ve found yourself in or because you are afraid of how others might react? Take the first step and try something new!

8. Share your opinion. Do you hesitate to share your preferences? Share your preferences when choosing a movie to see with friends, or when planning a family outing. Going to see a movie with some friends? Tell them the movie you’d most like to see. If someone asks your opinion about something personal? Be honest - but always share your opinion with kindness.

9. Spend time in nature. We tend to spend so much time indoors – an artificial environment. Spend some time outside – in your backyard, neighborhood park, or on a nature hike. Feel the breezes, listen for birdsong, feel the earth beneath your feet. Being in nature can be centering and calming.

10. Understand where you can strengthen your boundaries. Do you have areas where your think your boundaries are not as strong as you would like? Are there aspects of your life where others establish the rules? In these situations, you can feel drained by the amount of energy it takes to conform to not being your unique self. Try reorienting your mindset so that the rules set by others do not impact your own boundaries.

Try some of these ideas to help build your confidence and overcome the need to fit in and impress others at the expense of your unique self. You are an amazing person – allow yourself to shine. 

If you would like to explore coaching resources to help you transform your relationship with boundaries or create a customized meditation practice, please use this form to customize your request.